Adoption Update, bad news...

So, here is the bad news - our adoption fell through. You may have already read Dave's blog but I thought I would go into a little more detail so I don't have to repeat the story over and over. I think it is best explained by way of a time line from the past few days.

• Tuesday AM - Our birth mother (BM) was supposed to have had an ultrasound to determine the baby's due date and the gender. She knew I would be calling to talk with her.
  

• Tuesday PM - When I called BM, she answered the phone and said, "Chrissy?" I said, no, this is Danielle. She asked, "Danielle who?" I almost slipped and used my last name but I quickly recovered and said, "Danielle with attorney LF (I used the full name)." It took her a minute and then she realized who I was. It was a very awkward moment. I thought, "how could you forget the name of the women who would be raising your child?" Our conversation moved on to her doctor's appointment. She explained that the ultrasound machine was broken but she did get to hear the heart beat and that it was strong. Her appointment was rescheduled for 9am the next morning. She went on to say that her other children we asking about us. She reiterated how happy she was to have found a couple like us and how right it felt. BM said I could call on Wednesday night at 8pm. As we hung up I was dissapointed and had a sinking feeling,

• Wednesday AM - We spoke with attorney, LF. She explained the birth mother expenses to us. She said she would call as soon as she heard from BM. LF also said that she would have the medical records ready for us on Friday. Getting BM's medical record's would have been the next step in the process. Once this was done we would have started to pay BM's expenses.
  

• Wednesday PM, 8pm - I attempted to cal BM. She did not answer. I spoke with LF, she suggested I wait about 3o minutes and call again. I did. Still no answer.

• Thursday - We don't here from BM or LF at all. I tried calling LH a couple of times, no response. I did not try to call BM. By this time I was begginning to suspect something was not right.
  

• Friday AM, 10:45am - I arrived at LF's offices to pick up BM's medical records. It is then that I find out that on Wednesday, LF asked BM for her lease to verify the rent request and ssince conversation BM had not returned any of the eight or so calls by LF on Wednesday or Thursday. LF also explains that another adoption attorney called to ask her if BM had been matched with a couple. LF said yes, reffering to Dave and I. That attorney then explained that BM had just called her asking to see parent profiles. LF also told me that BM had told her that her appointment for the ultrasound was at 1pm not 9am on Wednesday, which was another inconsistency. LF said that she does not like working with birth mothers who fail to return phone calls and appear to be deceptive. LF feels that this particular birth mother has been dishonest in her dealings and that we should not go any futher with her.

So that is basically it. I apologize if it is a little jumbled. It has been that kind of week. I am glad that our attorney saw the red flags before we started putting out non-recoverable expenses to the birth mother. Beyond our heartbreak, I feel for this child. It is unlikely that BM will find an attorney who is willing to work with her. I believe she truly was looking for an adoptive family, I just think she was shopping around for the best deal so to speak.

Although I did cry initially while I was with our attorney, I am not sure whether my lack of tears now is just peace or if it is resignation to the fact that this is just the way it is for us. I'd like to think it is the peace that passes all understanding that Phillipians 4:7 talks about.

Well, I have rambled enough. I don't really like how this post reads but it is all I've got tonight.